It was past 4 in the afternoon and my six year old was still trying to eat his breakfast... yes, you read that right breakfast...still!!
Lets rewind to that morning... actually, lets rewind to a few days before, when after making the kids' favorite lunch my oldest, who is almost seven years old, refused to eat it claiming he didn't like sandwiches anymore. I remember a time [the last two months] when he would beg for a ham or turkey sandwich for lunch and dinner. After a frustrating week of getting the same response at almost every meal that did not involve hot dogs, toaster waffles or rice, I had to ask if he was taking advantage.
To be honest his response didn't surprise me. He's a very smart kid but his need to try to outsmart everyone, to see what he can get away with, is driving him to make a lot of dumb bad choices. Anyone else having this problem?
I wondered for a minute if maybe I was working on creating a brat. I mean, I want my kids to eat, what parent doesn't? But we've never been the type of parents to give our kids everything they want, in this case cook whatever they want, mostly because we haven't had much problem with this in the past but also because we strongly believe part of loving our kids means not giving them everything. However, recently, out of exhaustion and honestly laziness, I have made it easy for him to just lie about not liking a certain food and in return, he's been getting rewarded for it with something else to eat. What is this, a restaurant? Well... it was slowly turning into one.
So I decided to work on "retaining" this bratty behavior out of him.
Now fast forward back to that morning.
I made a sandwich for each kid, and just because I'm nice, I let them choose between jam or turkey in their sandwich, before informing them that after eating their entire sandwich (including "edges") they can have some of the apple-cinnamon bread (which ended up more like a sweet, yummy breakfast cake) I had baked the night before.
This was enough for my youngest two, they ate that jam sandwich faster than ever.
Sadly, my oldest, expecting the usual response from me, ate all but the last two bites of his sandwich because he "didn't like it"... he didn't like the last two bites of the same turkey sandwich he had been eating for the last 45 minutes!!!
SERIOUSLY CHILD?!?!?!?!
But this time, my response was different... this time I said he only had one choice: eat the dang sandwich! He had the option to sit on the small kid table in the kitchen until those last two bites were gone. If he was not done by lunch time he forfeited the apple-cinnamon bread.
Guess what? Breakfast time was over. Lunch time came and went (he missed out on dessert: Popsicles) and snack time passed (which they really look forward to). It was almost dinner time and I had heard every excuse in the book about why he can't eat the last two bites of his sandwich. Let me tell you, this kid is creative! So much drama.... oh my goodness.... so.much.drama....
Finally, he decided to close his eyes and eat it because "it doesn't taste like 'edges' when you close your eyes". As soon as he was done he ate his lunch, and about an hour later he had dinner.
Not only did he spend all day sitting on a small chair at their small kitchen table because he wouldn't eat two pieces of bread, he missed out on the movie we watched because he wouldn't eat two small pieces of bread, he missed out on the three books his siblings and I cuddled up to read because he wouldn't eat the last two bites and he missed out on our time outside blowing bubbles because he wouldn't eat the last two bites of his sandwich. True story!
I'm sure some people think this is harsh, we believe it starts with the small things. Plus, how many of you had lots of choices growing up? I know I didn't. My mom cooked, we ate what she cooked, that was it.
That sneaky bratty behavior was trying to creep into my home, and we cut its head right on time... this time. The scary thing is that this had been going on for over a week and I didn't notice it.
Makes me think about those parents, you know, the ones everyone is talking about, those who are raising bratty kids. Helps me extend some grace to those parents because I don't think those parents set out to become those parents, at least not all of them. Sometimes it just happens. Today it was me, tomorrow it could be you. It happens. The question is: what are we going to do about it when we catch ourselves falling into this slippery slope?
Its not easy, its not fun, its time consuming, its frustrating... but its one of those things that we will thank ourselves for in the future and our kids will thank us for later.
Conversation with six year old before bed. Me: was today fun? 6y/o: not really. Me: do you think you made good choices? 6y/o: No, but I will do better tomorrow. Me: Good, because tomorrow you're having the same thing for breakfast. 6y/o: ...
.... to be continued...
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