The time everyone else went to school

Today is the first day of school for our district... and although the decision to homeschool had already been made a while ago, and we've been referring to ourselves as a homeschooling family, today, things got very real!! There's no turning back now!

I know, I know, technically, we can decide that homeschooling is not right for us and try to enroll the kids in public school at any time, and our kids will most likely be accepted, but scrolling through Facebook and seeing so many "first day of school" posts makes it feel so much more official; even though the plan is to wait until after Labor Day to start our official learning journey.  

Anyway, as if Facebook wasn't enough to make me think about our choice, today the kids have made it their mission to remind me of one of the biggest questions I've had since the idea of homeschooling started brewing in my heart: Can we really handle the emotional and spiritual part of homeschooling?

(It also doesn't help that I'm PMSing)

Today, my children have decided to fight each other more, to make an extra big mess, to ignore the words coming out of my mouth more... basically anything that could make me regret the decision, and after about 45 minutes of them fighting, crying, hitting each other, crying, throwing toys, crying, calling each other names and crying, I thought "I will go and pray with them! That will make things better"  I marched in there, we sat in a circle in the middle of the room, we held hands and I began to pray. "Dear God, please help us behave in a way that pleases you, help us to use the fruit of the spirit already in us so we can..." and as I prayed they made faces and wiggled and mocked my every word, anything to ensure the prayer would end with mommy yelling.... somehow though, by the grace of God, I managed to leave the room without changing my tone, but I couldn't finish the prayer with them.

Instead, I walked out, ran almost, fell to my knees in the living room, with tears in my eyes and tried to pray through the frustration  "Jesus I need you today. Help me please! Holy Spirit fill this home with your presence, I can't do this without you. Help me good Father, help me please!"

How did my day turn into such a disappointment? I woke up happy because I was able to get some sleep after being sick for a few days. I woke up excited for the fun week I had planned for my kids while most of their friends are in school. I woke up looking forward to some Holy Yoga (yes, that's a thing, its awesome!).
I had such high expectations for this day, I had plans...

Ins't this a lot like life though? We build up the expectation of how things are supposed to be, we make plans, and then life happens, everything changes, our world turns upside down even if just for a moment, especially if you are a planner (anyone else like to make plans and once the plans are made, might as well be "set on stone"?). But life is about making choices, I had a choice to make: I could continue to wallow over how horrible the kids were behaving and how out-of-control my hormones were making me feel, OR I could decide to not let anyone or anything steal my joy. I chose the latter.

I chose joy. I put on some worship music and decided to extend some grace. Instead of going over how I want them to behave, we went for a walk and talked about God's grace and God's mercy. I told them about how much God loves me even when I fall short. I told them about His work on the cross for all of us, about the fact that there is nothing we can do that will make Him love us less... "I am choosing to extend some grace to you because God continues to extend grace to me, over and over, and I want to be more like Jesus" - that's how our conversation ended as we walked in the door.

So as I sit on my couch, typing, reflecting on our day, I finally confronted that question I mentioned earlier, one that I have honestly been avoiding... and I know now, for certain, that although the spiritual and emotional side of homeschooling wont be easy, we can all choose joy, every day, as a family, and hold on to His victory on the cross to overcome anything life throws at us, knowing that He will work it all for our good.  

Learning the first things first

I've been away for a while... we've had a lot going on with my little one's birthday and family visiting... plus planning for our first year of homeschooling.

Anyway, a bit after we decided that homeschooling was right for our family, I started doing research on the different styles of homeschooling and created a rough outline of subject and topics we would like to help our children learn. Though I wasn't one hundred percent sure of what would work and how much is too much (I still don't know, and to be honest, I believe we wont know for sure until we actually start), one thing I was sure of, still am, is that our days would start with God's word.

A few weeks after that, a friend told me about Kids of Integrity, which is a great resource and so it was decided: we would use this for our Character Building/Bible/Devotional part of the day. I started planning our days using KOI, I looked through the different lessons and determined we would start with Obedience. It seemed fitting, it felt right, it was logical. Starting the school year, our very first year of homeschooling, by talking about Obedience made so much sense... for me. I was thinking only of myself when I made this decision. I didn't pray about it, I didn't even talk to my husband about it. It will be my first year of helping my kids learn new things, of spending ALL DAY with them, so of course, obedience makes total sense...but God had other plans, I just didn't know it yet. It wasn't until this week, Monday to be specific, that God showed me how much more important, how much better it is to start by discussing God's goodness instead. Start with the first and most important thing.

My first reaction was of hesitation "why wouldn't God want me to help them understand how important it is to obey?" but the longer I sat in the middle of the early morning worship and prayer service we had this week, the more He revealed to me how much more can be accomplished, how much identity and life can be received by focusing on His goodness.

God is good. He is so so good; and in this world we are living in, we don't need a reminder of where we fall short, we need a reminder of how good He is! 

God doesn't want us to obey Him because we have to, He wants obedience to come as a response to how much we love Him, because He loved us first. 

So we are still planning on using KOI, its a great resource, but first, we will spend as much time as we need in understanding and accepting the goodness of our amazing God, which I'm working on right now.

Praying I can have a "lesson plan" ready by the time we start school.

How do you help your children learn about God? What's your main focus?