The time with the letter from [public] school

Since the time we started praying about the possibility of homeschooling, starting next fall [2016], I have been on a roller coaster of emotions... mostly highs, with a few lows here and there; at times, its hard not to feel overwhelmed when you have a strong-willed smart-ass 6 year old boy, one very sarcastic, witty, persistent 5 year old girl and a young, immature, 3 year old who loves his role as little brother (and thinks its his mission to make everyone laugh). Other times it's just me doubting my identity in Christ - I am who He says I am... I've noticed this usually happens when my relationship with God isn't the strongest, when I lose sight of Him.

However, last week, was completely different. My doubts didn't come from the usual sources, they came from a letter I received from my youngest son's school saying we "qualify" for free full-time pk4, due to additional government funding this school received.
As I read through the letter, I considered the idea of being kid-free from 7:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. I'm not gonna lie, for a moment I went off to daydream of the endless possibilities, of what my life would look like if I had a full seven hours to myself... and then, as if my bubble was popped by a pin in hand, I returned to reality, and immediately felt a "tug" in my heart, almost like a "wake-up!" slap by the Holy Spirit, along with a very clear reminder of the promise He made to me when He planted the idea of homeschooling in my heart.

Some might say actually said to me: Why don't you just send them to school next year, then consider homeschooling the year after that? The answer to that is simple: Sending my kids to public school, just so I can have 7 (glorious) kid-free hours, 5 times a week, would be completely selfish. I know homeschooling will not be easy. I know some days I will want to quit. I know some days I will have the need to leave the kids with my husband so I can go [anywhere] catch my breath and recharge. I know there will be times when the kids need a break for me, too... But I also know that this is our next step, this is where God is leading us, it's my family's journey.

The first time I prayed, really prayed, about the next step for our family, He promised me he would do great things in us and though us; that day, I sensed Him say, almost in an audibly: "A year from now, you will look back and say 'Wow! look at all the great things God has done in our lives' and your faith will grow, and you will be stronger as a family." 

I still get goosebumps whenever I think of that day.  

For us, homeschooling is step one of the plan He has for us, and I strongly believe that God will not reveal step two, until we follow step one. It's not only a test of obedience, it's a test of faith and trust.

So I have decided to be obedient because I trust that God is good and He is sovereign; I know His plan for my family - for my children, for my husband, for me - is much much bigger than me, and I can choose to be part of the plan (by following His calling), or I can try to do what I think is right [easier] and miss the opportunity to see His work in me.