The time I decided to hold my ground

"It's not a big deal so I will just ignore it"... That right there is what's wrong with our generation, that is the problem!

I'm usually the follow-the-rules, don't-stir-the-pot, avoid-confrontation type. I grew up thinking all confrontation is unhealthy and would be seen as bad testimony. As I grew into an adult, I came to the realization that some confrontation is not only healthy, its sometimes necessary, yet nurture takes over at times. However, recently a situation came up where I felt very convicted about my usual way of doing things (or more like "go with the flow" and not do a thing), and after spending some time seeking God and asking for prayer, I sensed God leading me to stand firm and try to make a difference, even if just a small difference.

You see, it's easy to just let go of things when they don't affect us directly or "it's not a big deal", but what happens when it actually does affect us? What if the first person who went through the situation had taken a stand, paving the way for when you had to go through it?

Well that's what I'm hoping to accomplish in this situation, to pave the way to future homeschooling parents, by not giving in to my son's elementary school's request for information [not required by law] regarding our upcoming home school endeavor.

Let me give you some background: 
Texas law is one of the most favorable for homeschooling. Per law, all I need to do is notify the school in writing (by mail or email) of my intention to home school, that's it. It's one of the many benefits of living in this great state. Unfortunately, some School Districts are not aware of the law, or choose to ignore it and request additional information "for their records" or "to protect the child", and while Im sure they most likely have the best intentions by doing this (and no, I dont think they are "out there to get me"), it robs us of our freedom and of our right.

This is the form I was given at my son's school:

What's the big deal about this form you ask? Well, that's exactly what I thought... at first...yet the more I read through it, the more anxiety I felt, I just didn't feel peace; so I sought advice from the ladies in my home school facebook group, many who have been doing it for years and some live in Texas as well. I found a lot of support, good advise and wise insight. One lady pointed out something I didn't even notice about that paragraph in the middle, she said:

"In that paragraph there is enough to give them legal grounds to say you aren't properly homeschooling, not using the curriculum they allow, essentially giving the school bird oversight into their homeschool."

WOW! After reading the paragraph again, it's all I could say, WOW! I didn't even think about it in that way, seem I didn't fully understand the paragraph! (God is so good to me!) The lady who posted this comment has no idea what a huge blessing she was to me with this. 

People, We need to be informed. 

We need to do research,

We need to know our rights, and defend them!

As Christ followers we want everything we do to reflect Christ, but that doesn't meat we need to say yes to everything nor ask questions. In fact, having all the information will enable us to make wiser decisions and in this situation, it's become clear to me that not completing this form helps protects our rights and the freedom offered by this state's law, and though I may never know exactly how much I really "helped" the next parent who walks into the school to withdrawal their child, at least I know I was obedient to what God called me to do in this situation....

We can protect our rights while still being kind and godly.

The time at DQ

Today I thought I'd do something fun with the kids on this beautiful sunny day in Texas, so I came up with the very bright idea to take all three kids to DQ for dinner, without my husband.

Already predicting the over-excitement, since it was our first time there, I give them the usual talk before leaving the car: "ok guys, we're here. Please remember that this is a restaurant, a place where lots of people go to eat, so be respectful of others, no getting on top of the tables, no running... basically anything you know is not ok to do in a restaurant, just don't do it. Let make good choices and act like big boys and girl." To which they reply with an enthusiastic "Yes ma'am".

As soon as we get out of the car my oldest starts to run towards the door (sigh), but I just take a breath and move on (I mean, they're kids, its gonna happen). We go inside and before we're even done ordering, two out of the three children are fighting. I respond in a tone equally filled with annoyance, sadness and stress  "boooys, calm down, remember our talk".

We walk to the back and find a booth; I sit the little one by my side, the older two across, then wait for the food to come. The kids finally settle down (only took about 5 minutes) and start eating. We talk about their day, joke around a bit, enjoy family time - this is fun, this I love, I wish it could always be like this.

They finish their food so it's time for them to go choose a treat - they had no idea the kids' meal came with a treat, which totally made up for the fact that it didn't come with a toy - you can see the excitement building up... Once they eat their ice cream you can see the effects of the sugar almost immediately... and its all downhill from here.

The oldest boy runs around the restaurant, jumps up onto the counter the holds the beverages and sits there for a couple of seconds before grabbing a few straws, jumping off and running around again...

The youngest dances on his chair (thought that was kind of cute), and tries to "escape" to join big brother, this means jumping over mommy...

And the girl, she just whines about her ice cream melting and dripped onto her hands and clothes... oh and in case you didn't know, ice cream is too cold.

I start to feel pressure in my head, not sure if its from my sinuses (I'd been dealing with a sinus infection for over a week)or that feeling we all get when our kids are acting like wind-up toys and we don't know if to scream, tie then to a chair or just run away...  the headache slowly creeps in, the blood rushes to my head... That's when I loose it and I uttered those two words that are usually followed by some promise I probably won't keep: THAT'S IT! As soon as we arrived home you will take a shower, brush your teeth and go straight to bed! 

By then I was frazzled and kept thinking "I'm.never.ever.doing.this.again, EVER!!"

Once home, the boys march together to one bathroom and the girl to another, while I go for a walk and talk to my mom on the phone [since husband is already home].

I complain about how crazy the kids behaved today, confessed I felt like I didn't know what to do or how to handle it [them]. I don't want to be a mean mom or spend all our time together reprimanding them, nor constantly revoking privileges. 

Am I being too soft on them, or too hard on them? Do they require more consequences or good 'ol spankings? Am I crazy and totally overreacting? 

She just listens (I love my mom, she always listens).

Then she tells me about a lady who works under her supervision. She had been giving them [management] some trouble, yet my mom chose to show her grace; she chose to acknowledge the good things this employee has done in her current role; my mom identified with her, she told this employee how much she reminds my mom of my sisters and me in different aspects of her life... she chose kindness, in spite of the way her employee was acting, grace won... and guess what? That employee, a few days later, out of nowhere, went to management to apologize for the way she had been acting, saying she was amazed and grateful for the way she has been treated even when she has been trying to stir up trouble... talk about things only God can do....

Immediately Romans 2:4 came to mind about how It's God's kindness that leads us to repentance, and as the words were coming out of my mouth, I could sense the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart be kind my beloved daughter, be kind because I am kind. 

That's what I need to do with my kids. Not be more strict, not be mean, not punish more... be kind. Now that's a challenge! How do you choose kindness when you are exhausted and frustrated? When all you ask of your children is that they listen when you talk to them and stop when you ask them to stop?

The answer: We ask God.

"Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us." 1 John 5:14 NIV

We, as parents, are the very first example our kids get to see of God's character. If my kids can say nothing about me, other than they know that I love God and love people, I could die knowing I left a legacy to them.... but how can they say this if I can't extend grace to them through kindness?

We can only show grace to the extent that we have received grace from God. Lets be open to receive His grace today.